Little Worm & Chocolate Popcorn

Demi apa aku menunggumu sampai detik ini?
You don't even care if I'm okay or not.
I don't think you'll even miss me if I'm gone.
Do you even realize if one day I'm not around anymore?
Yes, I know you're so damn busy with life.
It's like you don't even have time for yourself anymore.
I know I'm also the one who asked you to do that.
But am I too childish if I'm asking for 5 minutes from your 24 hours this time?
Just 5 minutes.
Please, stay with me for 5 minutes.
Apakah hari-harimu begitu padatnya hingga sedetikpun aku tak terlintas dalam benakmu?
At least ask me how I am.
You used to be so attentive before.
You used to be so funny and make things easy and fun.
Kemana perginya orang yang kukenal itu?
Kemana perginya orang yang kusenangi itu?
Kemana perginya orang yang membuat aku bahagia itu?
You used to tell me things about you.
You used to tell me how life knocked you down.
You used to tell me your fear and madness.
Kemana perginya orang yang membuat aku merasa penting itu?
Kemana perginya orang yang membuat aku merasa berarti untukmu itu?
When I start to open my heart and start trusting you about my life, you start disappearing.
So I stand still, confuse what to do.
I always try to understand about you.
I try to understand when you asked me to wait for you but then you forget and left me stranded by myself, hanging on something unsure. I thought maybe you're too tired and I wanted you to take a rest.
I try to understand when you speak to me roughly just because someone is ruining your day and you felt like punching everyone. I thought maybe you had a very bad day and I didn't want you to feel bad.
But it has been 3 days now.
In 72 hours, did something never remind you of me?
I have told you I wasnot in a pink, remember?
I have told you I will wait for you, remember?
It's been 3 days and I can't take it.
So if one day I suddenly come accross your mind and you ask me how I am, you know what will i do?
I will not wait for you.
Karena demi apa pun, aku berhak untuk diperlakukan dengan adil and deserve to be cared and loved.
And after everything I have done and felt for you, I'm stranded because you find a boat and sail away to another island.
Do you even know how it hurts?
Do you even care how am I?
So I will stop make it rain and I will seek for the rainbow instead.

Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

Tuhan, aku takut.
How to tell you my fear when I'm actually too scared to even think about it?
It's like I cry myself out every time I want to sleep.
Every night, when half of the world is having a dream, I whimper.
I know this feeling because I haven't gone further.
I know I just need to keep having faith.
I know you'll always got me every time I fall.
Dan seperti yang Kau lihat, Tuhan, I still have it in me.
I've saved some of my strength from the past for this.
I know I shouldn't have wasted every single second for such useless weariness.
But sometimes I feel so scared and feel so stranded that I want to hold You and cry on Your shoulder, God.
If not to You, to whom else I can, God?
Do I have to keep acting like this strong happy person I've been?
I'm tired of being tough and fearless this time, God.
Please, I beg You, may I rest a while and cry?
Right now, I just want to be hugged gently, being kissed on my forehead, and being whispered to my ear: "It's alright, Pam, everything's going to be alright. Maybe not today, but eventually."
Right now, I just want my hand to be held and my step to be led.
And when I think I'm failed again, I want to be comforted, be smiled at, and be told: "It's okay, Pam. It's just another simulation."
I'm scared that I will have to fight by myself, God.
I'm scared that I will have no shoulder to cry on.
I'm scared of being left by the one I've been hoping for.
I'm scared of being pushed to the limit and can't pull myself back again.
I'm scared that what I've been praying for is not going to be an answer.
I'm scared of losing what I've been taking care for.
I'm scared of being a stranger to the one that I close to.
I'm scared of being like a rotten fish.
Tak bolehkah aku meminta agar doaku dikabulkan segera, Tuhan?
Aku rindu, Tuhan.
It feels like driving alone at night when it's raining outside and there's no good music to comfort inside.
It feels like coming home to a quiet house after having a blast.
It feels like going back to the places you've been to with the one you care most, but this time you go back there by yourself.
Kenapa rasanya berat sekali, Tuhan?
It makes me feel like walking through crowded but everyone is a stranger.
Once I was told that when you speak from your heart and say the words your soul has only dared to whisper, that's when miracles happen.
I always say it in every breath I take, God.
It stays in my mind like the air I need to keep me alive.
It squeezes my heart like I almost reach something at a distance.
It's like peeling the shallot, can't do it without having any tear.
Will this past too, God?
Because every cloud has a silver lining.

You Make Working Place Like A Playground

When words can't tell better stories, pictures do.

and it tells the best.