When It Comes To Reality

It crushes you so bad that you can hardly breath.
It feels like every bones is shaking that you can hardly stand still.
What is this pain that makes every nerve is breaking?
You hold your chest because it feels like the heart is bursting.
You fall apart because every cell of you is aching.
You die a little inside that you keep going on fainting.
It hurts so bad that you feel like every part of you is falling.
Well, it may torture me.
But again, I survive the pain.
Everyday is a struggle to hide this kind of  strange feelings.
Sometimes I almost fail, but again I manage to keep it together .
No one needs to know, not even myself.
I lie to me just so I can go back to my senses and won't be in that contagious and continuous pain.
But how can people lie to themselves when they also keep the truth in their heart?
All I need is a pain killer but how can it cure me if it will kill myself in the end?
Because I am the pain.
I am the cause why it always rain and thunder breaks heart.
I don't need people see me with their dewy eyes and be friends with me just because they want to make themselves feel better.
Stop the drama.
Because as you can see, with all those things I am having inside, I still can make you see me look like a happy person with a wide big smile on my face and a nice friendly figure.
So I don't need you feeling sorry.

I don't need heroes.

I don't need your charity as well.

I don't even need a protector.

Because when it comes to reality, all I need is a true friend.